Yesterday was a good day. For me anyway. Most would say that it was horrible, but if you wait a minute you'll find out why.
Complete and total chaos. That's what it was like. Dealing with someone so different, so frustrating, it has the tendency to make me angry. On top of not getting homework done last night, I got into an argument with perhaps the only person that I may ever truly have feelings for.
He's abrasive. He's irrational. He's crude. He's an idiot. He's the worst memory of my young life, the darkest tragedy, the deepest pain.
He's kind. He's funny. He's smart. He's often right. He's perhaps the best thing that can (and will) ever happen to me.
The rain today brought me back. A time where I realized our dynamic. Cyclical. Repitition. All our life truly is together. Wasted. Push and pull. Always fighting, making up, realizing, hate, love, anger, all over again, weaving in and out of each other. Basket to hold my memories.
What will work? Nothing? Life told through music. Speaks of lost love. Love never found. Or rather, never truly realized. Lust, sure. Nothing to offer, or lacking the will to see it? My problems. Yours. Ours. Stress. Homework. School. Friends. Drama. Music, music, music, all the time dancing, music some more, creative juices flowing, that confusing string of words, lyrical in my head. Stories through messages. Years worth of history all stored in a thread. Little glimpses of life. Broken and faded, lost...jaded? Let time pass and what then? Keep the thread, store it for the public to see and not speak about. Bite my lip, continue to deny everything. Disjointed thoughts, incohesive processes. Our story? Perhaps.
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